Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Bloggers Make Me Sick

I've been thinkin a lot lately about this blog thing. I've figured out that I am not a "blogger." What I mean by this is not that I don't think I can be good at writing cute things for everyone to read. I can do that.

What I do mean is a little complicated and as usual with me there is a story to tell. Around about 1999 I was really well known for my writing of poetry which I would read at Speakfire and other open mics round about Atlanta. Then I stopped. In a moment of disgust I realized that I could not, while maintaining respect for myself and the medium (poetry) in general, continue to participate in the over-exposed, comercialized forum of "open mics." My biggest concern was aggravated when people started accusing me of being a "spoken word artist."

I hate spoken word. Why? Because I noticed that every black girl with seemingly no clue about the English language nor an iota of capacity as a writer or a poet had taken up pen and pad and started to call themselves "spoken word artist." I decided that the movie Love Jones was mostly to blame and wrote off the form completely. I have not looked back. I could not bare to hear another black girl talk about the flowing rivers of honey between her thighs! Even more I grew to anticipate with great trepidation the angry fuck-it-all, what-do-you-mean-I-need-therapy-?- "poetry. "Nor could I stomach the brother-man-bravado speak about the prowess of his penis delivered in the trite sing-song pseudo rhyme of Tigra and Bunny. Don't get me wrong, I like the cars that go boom too! But I would never sit idly while Tigra and Bunny defined what they do as poetry. I could abide less the insistence by the queues of college freshman, scorned men and women, and self proclaimed love doctors, that they too are poets.

Thus I have begun referring to "spoken word" as "chittlin circuit poetry." I, subsequently avoid open mics and other spoken word venues like the proverbial plague.

This brings me to Blogging. I discovered it a little late and decided that it would be a great low pressure way for me to deliver some of my ideas into cyberspace. I did not care who read my blog and thus blogged like I did not care. Anything that was on my mind became the topics of my blog post.

I found that I was doing it wrong. You see, what I have discovered is that there is a predetermined model of Blogging for Black gay men. The essential components are as follows:

-A super-model aspiring Black fag

-Glamour shots of myself to post on the face of my blog

-Glamour shots of myself to ad to every new post

-An adequate suply of "artistic nudes" of myself for every other post

-A huge predisposition toward self promotion

-A heavily celebrated but mediocre writing ability

-At least 60 black educated butch-queens who profess to want to mentor me that secretly actually are hoping to bed me once I have become to myself, like them, undesirable because of age and body image issues.

I and my blogging have been found lacking. I have thus ignored my blogg with the same disdain that I have ignored spoken word.

What I believe about both is that they have become the forms of people with underdeveloped social skills who are unable to act out their dating dance in realtime and the real world and thus result to the passive pandering of their own sexuality through spoken word and blogging.

What do you think? I'm interested in hearing from bloggers. Particularly those who have wallpapered their bloggs with glamour shots and "artistic nudes."

9 comments:

T. Zac said...

this is Laugh out loud funny.

I have been blogging since 2002. I am a very social person. The blog for me has served many purposes. I think there is room for your type of blog and their type of blog. I am not one that has the "glamour" that you mentioned. However I do have a pic here or there (now) I didn't for a long time.

nova said...

I look at blogging like music- the good shit is out there, and although a majority of the popular stuff sucks, you don't have to go too far to find something worthwhile.

Darian said...

Interesting observations. I just recently started blogging(May 2006) and my blog serves many different purposes for me. I know I have something important to say and my blog has been a wonderful outlet for me to do so. I do have pics of myself at the top of my blog, but in no way were they posted to put myself on a pedastal. I think the content on my blog speaks for itself. I agree with you that many of the gay blogs in the blogosphere are "crap" but there are some really good ones(i.e Keith Boykin, Rod 2.0, Pam's House Blend)and I would even go as far to add my own. Check it out at loldarian.blogspot.com and tell me what you think.

Larry D. Lyons II said...

hey there.
i've taken up these questions over on my blog. come through and check it out!

Ynkuya said...

I've read Larry's comments about this post on his Blog.

Larry, our previous conflict brought for my Blog more hits than ever. So many of your readers, admirers, supporters, came to read my comments and tear for me, I'm sure they thought so anyway, a "new asshole." I having, as it were, a more than sufficient asshole, being quite astute and more than capable of defending myself against the attacks and responding to the "valid" critiques maintained the asshole that I had, intact.

So, while it is tempting to once again engage with you in this way, I decline. Maybe another time.

Your response is a bit defensive. I wrote this a full year before I became aware of your blog when Charles sent me the link to the "You Too Can" post.

Once you have gotten over yourself I think you'll prove a valuable change agent and maybe an ally.

Peace

Larry D. Lyons II said...

kevin,

i find my blog post to be more introspective than defensive. the difference lies in the fact that i never presumed you actually had me in mind when you wrote the post last march. nonetheless, the post did inspire me to ask myself (and subsequently my readers) some questions about the function and reception of my blog and my photography. said simply, it made me think.

as such, i use the criteria you set forth in your entry to evaluate the blogs that i read, my own included. because my blog, more than any other that i read, consistantly features my photography and generous amounts of ego, i found it to be an ideal place to take up the questions you posed in your entry.

i'm not sure which part of this points to my need to "get over myself", but i can assure you that the intention behind re-contextualizing this conversation on my blog had everything to do with my curiosity about my readers' thoughts on mediocrity and self-promotion in the blogsphere and nothing at all to do with a desire to attack or belittle you or your post. i hope the sincerity of this comes through.

Frank Leon said...

-A super-model aspiring Black fag
(GUILTY. Though im not sure i'd say I aspire to be a "SUPER" model, but nonetheless the hailing holds true).

-Glamour shots of myself to post on the face of my blog
(GUILTY. I particularly love the ones of myself with/at balls.)

-Glamour shots of myself to ad to every new post
(See above.)

-An adequate suply of "artistic nudes" of myself for every other post
(Not guilty just yet, but working on it! This post will surely inspire me toward that direction).

-A huge predisposition toward self promotion
(Guilty. In fact, my "predisposition toward self promotion" is almost as obnoxious as other blogger's annoying tendencies to post "critiques" of other black gay bloggers/blogging as nothing more than an attempt to draw more attention to themselves).

-A heavily celebrated but mediocre writing ability
(Guilty. And I love the critical modesty of the author of this author of this post. He's so qualified in his ability to assess the quality of other's writings.)

Guilty as charged!

Ynkuya said...

Good for you Frank.

See my reply to Larry's post for more insight into my feelings about your response to this years old post.

Andrés Duque said...

As one of the presons who linked up to this post based on Larry's post, I think both of you raise interesting issues regarding imagery of POC male sexuality rarely addressed in other blogs. I don't see it as an either or argument but part of a refreshing dialogue that needs to happen.