Monday, May 23, 2005

Star Wars: Revenge Of The Sith

I saw the movie, finally! I have to say that it was amazing. I've decided that to encourage other's to see the movie, so that I'm not the only black gay man out here who is a HUGE fan, I'm going to list my top five scenes.


#1- Padme of Naboo sits in the senate chamber listening to Senator to Chancellor to Emperor Palpatine delivering a speech about how he will further limit the power of the senate, in order to protect the republic, and expand his power (sound familiar?). The members of the senate are crazy with clapping and affirmation of his ideas (are you recalling any recent events?). So Padme, wife of Darth Vader and mother of Luke and Lia, turns to Senator Oragana (the adopted father of princess lia) and says "So, this is how democracy dies. With thunderous applause." This is by far my favorite scene in the movie. I love social commentary and Chancellor Palpatine seems unabashedly similar to GWB. Thus this scene conjured images of the patriot act in my head -"For our protection"- and I wished that I had thought of this eloquent shit when we were going through the patriot act being passed. Social commentary: I love this shit!

#2 & #3 - So I figure that since number two and number three are both concerning Master Yoda I'll just combine them. You know I love this character so so so much! I thank the powers that be in the universe every day for having the perspicacity to put Yoda in the head of George Lucas. Any way, I'm sure that my favorite scene from every Starwars Movie concerns Master Yoda. My favorite Master Yoda scene in Revenge Of The Sith is when the extermination of the Jedi has begun. Anakin has gone to the Jedi temple and killed scores of younglings while the armies of the former republic/budding empire are ambushing the Jedi all over the galaxy. Dozens of Jedi have been executed and Master Yoda, unlike the lesser Jedi who have gotten got, senses these deaths in the force. Remember all that "Great Disturbance " shit from the first three movies? Well, Yoda feels the disturbance in the force. Being the Jedi Master that he is, in touch with his feelings and the force, Yoda also feels it in the force when the soldiers of the empire come for him. There he is sitting looking out on the horizon and feeling the force, the two storm troopers approach from behind and Master Yoda's brow crinkles into the cutest/most dangerous little frown. Just as the storm troopers raise their guns to cut the Jedi master down, he draws his light saber and strikes them both dead in a single sweep. I love this guy! His little saber is so cute! But he is one of the baddest mutha *shut you mouth* in the galaxy.

The second piece of my Yoda worship is the scene when Yoda and Palpatine fight. This shit was so fucking HOT. I can't really do a play by play because it was so action packed. But when Yoda was dodging the senate seating pods (huge egg-like platforms with room for senators and entourage) all of a sudden Yoda throws a hand into the air, tensing his face into an expression worthy of the most laborious stool, pointing his hand at the pod that is hurtling through the air at him. The pod stops dead in it's path, begins spinning on an invisible axis and to Palpatine's surprise is sent flying in the opposite direction. Palpatine has to jump out of the way and falls really far in order to avoid being knocked off his rocker. These bitches battled for quite some time. See the movie for the out come.

#4 - Obi Wan: Now I'd like to say that my fourth favorite thing was about Obi Wan but it wasn't. He has to be the most unremarkable jedi ever. God I hate him! He had like three chances to stop Vader from ever being! Ass hole! He was on a planet whose name I can't remember. But this man was riding this fucking lizard. Oh my god it was so HOT. I want a lizard like that. Can you buy one? I wonder if financing is available on big green rideable lizards.

#5 - Anakin gets out of bed threatening to show off all his goodies. He's just woken up from a bad dream and he is covered in sweat and half naked. You know I don't usually get into white men this much but... Like a white queen once said to me "I wouldn't put him out of bed unless he wanted to fuck on the floor!"