I think it was Frued who suggested that the object of our sexual desire is actually what we want to desire us. That our sexual desire is more about the desire to be desired than it is about actual desire of bodies. So I am attracted to the people I am attracted to because they are the ones that I most want to be desired by and not the other way around. This bring to mind for me a question:
Is our collective-desire, as Black gay men, for convential and frankly stereotypical male bodies telling of a desire to be affirmed by the heteropatriarchy that has rejected us?
Ulester Douglas, a friend and a professional therapist in Atlanta, suggests that we are attracted to the places in our lives that hold the most pain. Another question:
Are the bodies that have most often carried rejection for us the bodies to which we are most attracted?
Is Black Gay male obsession with a patriarchal picture of "masculinity" and "man hood" about the fact that these are the entities from which we have experienced the most rejection and from which we carry the most pain?
Is our obsession with hip hop bodies and masculinities about our experience of rejection from the working class black men in our pasts?